


Belonged

by flippednique



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Drabble, I felt like writing it after I rewatched episode 12, M/M, Might not actually make sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 15:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9498965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flippednique/pseuds/flippednique
Summary: Love. Lost. Lonely. LifeWhere was Viktor now?He stood there for a moment, and just... breathed.





	

_"Congratulations Yuuri, having both Yuris beat my record is the absolute bliss as your choreographer and coach, but it's the ultimate diss as a competitor."_

A beat.

_"Does that mean you're coming back?"_

Yuuri, unlike Viktor, has always had a very honest face. And it was that very thing that was Viktor's ultimate undoing. It wasn't just the look on his face after Viktor made it quite clear that he was competing again, but it was the expression when they had found out that he'd broken Viktor's long time record. There had been no joy there at first at all, just worry... for what though? Viktor's reaction? Viktor's feelings on the situation?

Had Viktor lost his absolute perfect control over his emotions that Yuuri actually managed to see that he maybe, somewhat, just a tiny bit... missed the ice?

It wasn't as if you could blame him, could you? For nearly twenty years, out of twenty-seven, he's been dedicaed to his first love... frozen water to many, his valhala on earth. He had probably kissed the ice more times than he'd actually kissed a person. Or maybe Makkachin came as a really close second. The rink was where somewhere Viktor could be who he wanted to be. At first, it had been an alien place, just a frozen pond behind the Madam's orphanage. The skates he used where completely new and he'd ended up hurting himself pretty bad. Madam had been a good friend of his mother since she was one of the orphanage's greatest patrons.

Truth be told, Viktor had felt more at home there, the orphanage, with the children who were older than him and liked to treat him roughly because he had oddly long hair, and the children who were younger than him who yelled his name whenever he visited. It was as if he felt like he belonged more there than he did anywhere else.

Until he discovered how much he belonged on a rink.

_"Figure skating?" His Papa had asked as he peered at him beyond that morning's paper. "Where'd you get this idea, Viktor? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to do something worth your time? Something you can use in the future?"_

_"Please, Papa." Viktor implored, but did not beg. It would not do him any good, that much he knew. "I just want to try. I will not be a bother to you, I swear it. Madam can look after me, she used to skate. She was quite fantastic. I know she will be willing to train me."_

_"That woman has been filling your head with one too many thoughts." Was what Papa had to say. "I should have known better than to let you spend so much time in that orphanage. What do you even do there all the time? You have plenty to keep yourself busy here."_   
  
_Viktor lowered his head. He would not fight his father if it meant losing the privelege to visit the orphanage._

_Mama looked up from her breakfast plate and must have seen something, or heard something, or felt... something. She reached out to gently hold Papa's arm. "Why not let him do it, dear? You know that at least in anything our little Viktor does, he excels. It will make for quite a story in the papers."_

To Viktor at the age of six, that sounded like quite a challenge. And a promise. And perhaps, even a threat. He would either do his very best, do better than any other skater, or he would lose his father and mother's blessing. Their support. Their everything. And he would have to go and do what they want him to do with his life.

And so he gave it his all.

And now here he was.

It still felt the same. Lonely. The only son of the Nikiforov family, whose parents did not have time for him because they had so many properties, business, and what have you to take care of. He also felt quite... Lost. He who spent too much time at Madam's orphanage, people who did not know better would think he was an orphan too. He often wondered if he should have felt flattered that so many had wanted to adopt him. Viktor had had a truly conflicting past, one hidden behind false moments of sweetness that could be found in the bibliographies in his family's library and some things stayed the same.

For twenty long years of his life on the ice, he had still been lonely and lost.

His two L's.

Oh sure, he could wow the audience with his brilliant surprises, but where did the urge to surprise come from? Was it the lack of attention from his parents? Was it the hope budding in his chest to make them proud? Nothing he did was ever enough. Nothing he did brought them to where he wanted them to be. Out here, with him. His father had died, and Viktor wasn't even sure where he stood in that man's eyes. Had he been a disappointment? Had he been worthy to be that man's son? He did not know, and he would never know. He barely spoke to his mother these days.

And yet now, there was this man... who has showed him two very different L words.

Life and love.

There was this man who he did not even know up until a year ago and yet he had spent more time with him than with anyone else that mattered. There was this man who came to him, bare of any masks, drunk and naked (both figuratively and somewhat literally) and had touched his soul in a way he thought had been impossible. His soul that he had thought had been dead... for so long, he couldn't even think of the last time he'd truly felt happy. Sure, there was something to be said for every program he's done, for every person he's managed to reach.

But something was missing...

Here now was Yuuri Katsuki, who cared so much for Viktor, that he cannot even be happy for achieving something other men would have killed for. He had surpassed Viktor Nikiforov, Figure Skating's Ice God.

And yet, all Viktor could see in that face of his, that wonderful, beautiful, honest face of his... was that he was worried for Viktor and how he was feeling.

He couldn't even begin to express how he felt about that.

There was just no way.

He pulled Yuuri close and tried to express that overwhelming sensation. He has never believed in anyone like he did in this man.

And he had never felt more strongly.

Viktor does not know what to do with himself, and all he can think of is that look of absolute joy that had crossed Yuuri's face.

_"Does that mean you're coming back?"_

He excused himself from Yuuri when a tell-tale flash of blond caught his eye. He rushed out of the kiss and cry and into the hall where he called after Yakov.

Yuri, the younger Yuri, must have seen beyond Viktor... what was it with people named Yuri who could do that?

_"Does that mean... that the piggy's retiring?"_

An almost bittersweet smile crossed Viktor's face, and he pulled Yuri close to him.

_"You understand, don't you? I will always love skating, now even more when you've all shown me why I give it my best. But for some reason... he thinks that this is the end for him. And I don't understand how he could think that. How can he not see what we see? How can he still think so low of himself when he is one of the best?"_

Viktor caught himself before he could say more, and his hold on Yuri tightens. The fact that he does not push Viktor away and lets himself be held screamed volumes of how much Yuri understood all this.

_Do something... because I don't know... I don't know what to say or do to help someone who has never been quite surprised by me, but has surprised me so much in so little time._

Viktor almost felt like he could drop to his knees.

_This isn't something I know. And it's unfair that I'm asking it of you because you're younger. What would you know too, right?_

Yuri pulled back and did not meet his eyes. He turned around and walked back the way they were originally going, they left Viktor where he stood, his bangs shadowing his face.

Love. Life. Lonely. Lost.

Where was Viktor now?

He stood there for a moment, and just... breathed.

He would come back to the ice, not because it seemed to be what Yuuri wanted for him, but because this was what he knew was right for him too. They had asked, almost eight months ago, what he had planned for his future. And he had no idea how to answer.

But now he did. Now he knew what he wanted. And that was to not be lonely. That was to not be lost.

And he had never felt more at home than he had at Hasetsu. The huge bath every night after long days of training, the delicious meals that Hiroko would prepare three times a day, the great company in the Nishigori family and Minako... they were all just lovely perks. What made it home... was Yuuri.

Viktor turned on his heel and sought the other man quickly, stood beside him and gripped his hand as they watched Yuri skate.

Yuuri's life and Yuuri's love.

He would do anything... to keep himself a part of it.

Viktor did not know what to make of the expression on Yuuri's face as they watch Yuri skate. Partly because he could not take his eyes off the younger Russian and partly because he was afraid of what he would see.

At the end of the day when Yuuri asked him to be his coach for one more year, he does not stop the tears from flowing.

He made selfish demands of his own. A five-time champion, no less. 

And he knew that that was okay.

He would still do his very best, do better than any other skater, and he would not fear losing Yuuri's support. Yuuri's everything.

Home. Home was Yuuri now, Yuuri was were he felt he belonged... and Yuuri came with the ice. Maybe in a few years time, it would just be Yuuri... but for now

_They called everything on the ice "love"_

**Author's Note:**

> So... someone on the FB page mentioned that they had a HC where Viktor might have come from an orphanage. Someone negated this and said that for someone who started skating so young and managed to get to Viktor's level, they would have had needed a lot of cash to do it and so their HC was that Viktor came from an awfully rich family but were extremely cold to him. 
> 
> I kinda mixed them up. I don't even know if this makes sense. 
> 
> But the scene where Viktor hugs Yuri tears at my heart each time I see it, especially since I read that one Tumblr post, which I'm sure you guys have seen too? It had something to do with how Yuri was the only person who could understand how Viktor was feeling and Viktor's reaction to Yuuri's decision was what spurned Yuri into skating as hard as he did in the free. 
> 
> Anywho, I love writing in Viktor's POV. It's nice :D


End file.
